


too many dreams in this

by itsahockeynight



Series: 2018 Playoff fics [1]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2017-2018 NHL Season, 2018 NHL Playoffs, Angst and Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, caps vs pens part 3, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 11:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14543931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsahockeynight/pseuds/itsahockeynight
Summary: Nicky hates losing more than anyone Sasha has ever met.





	too many dreams in this

**Author's Note:**

  * For [superfuckingovechkin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfuckingovechkin/gifts).



> \- if you are in any way associated with the NHL or the players mentioned in the tags, please, for everyone’s sanity, close this tab  
> \- title from [You’re Not Alone](https://open.spotify.com/track/7srUTfL8XtTw13qZadcxwr?si=yEORaYx6Tt6kq4RZmM_SjA) by The Enemy

Sometimes you just have to stop. He’s played his game, talked to Coach, said what he needed to say to the team. That’s all he can do for now. There’ll be video to watch tomorrow, things to work on, but for tonight Sasha is done.

Nicky, on the other hand...

Sasha never knows what to say to him. Nicky hates losing more than anyone Sasha has ever met, and he hangs onto things longer than he should. It makes his hockey better, usually, but that’s really not the most important thing right now.

Nicky doesn’t dodge him so much as completely ignore everyone the whole way back to the hotel. He’s not even wearing his headphones on the bus, he’s just staring straight ahead, at nothing. Sasha can’t see it, but he knows how tight Nicky’s jaw must be.

He fucking hates this.

Sasha just misses the elevator Nicky gets into at the hotel. He mashes the button while the other guys drag their feet. Nicky always thinks it’s better to be alone when he’s mad, but he’s only right half the time. It doesn’t have to be Sasha, he’d happily have anyone else sit with Nicky as long as he’s not stewing in his fury alone. No one likes even looking at him when he’s like this though, so it’s Sasha’s job.

The elevator makes it just in time for Sasha to follow Nicky down the hall and jam his foot in the hotel room door before Nicky closes it. Gone are the days he could just steal the other key card from Mike, so this is his only chance.

Nicky glares at him through the gap. Sasha doesn’t think he’d slam the door on Sasha’s foot, but he does look like he’s considering it. He braces his arm on the door.

“Nicky.” Glare. “We don’t have to talk. Just let me in, I leave you alone.” More glaring. “ _Nicky_.”

Nicky yanks the door open so hard Sasha nearly falls into the room. He closes it gently behind him – Nicky has already disappeared into the bathroom and slammed that door. Sasha takes off his shoes, shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over the chair in the corner. If he dumps it on the ground Nicky will just get more mad.

He strips down to his boxers and crawls into the bed closest to the door, the one Nicky didn’t sleep in last night. Nicky doesn’t want him here, he’s not going to push his luck.

When Nicky comes out of the bathroom, though, he snaps off the light and gets into the same bed as Sasha, as far onto the other side of the mattress as he can be. They lie there in silence for a few minutes. Sasha is tired down to his fucking bones, but he doesn’t dare fall asleep. Nicky doesn’t normally do this. Either he ignores Sasha completely, or he curls up so they’re touching all over. Sasha doesn’t know what he wants.

Then Nicky makes a little sniffy noise, and Sasha thinks _oh shit_. He’s _crying_.

Sasha shifts and rolls over so he’s about as close as he can be without touching. Nicky makes another noise, one of the frustrated noises he makes when games are going really fucking badly. God.

“I’m not fucking sad. I’m just –”

“I know.” Frustrated. Angry. Scared. “Nicky.” He wants to do _something_ , hug him, work the tensions out of his neck, blow him if that’s what he needs.

Nicky twists around and kisses him, hard. It’s not a particularly nice kiss. He puts a hand on Sasha’s chest, holding him in place, so Sasha stays still and waits until Nicky pulls away, panting. Then he gives in and wraps his arms around him.

Nicky freezes just for half a second, not even long enough for Sasha to think about letting go, then he curls into Sasha’s chest and stays there. Sasha kisses his hair.

“I don’t want to fucking lose to them again.” Sasha makes an encouraging noise. “I fucking hate it.”

“I know. We gonna win this time.”

“You always say that.” Nicky’s fingernails dig into his chest.

“You want me to say different? Say, “oh maybe not, maybe we just go home, save time”?”

Nicky exhales noisily. “No.” Sasha runs a hand through his hair.

“I still love you if we never have Cup, you know.”

Nicky’s head jerks up. It’s too dark to really see his face. Maybe Sasha could have timed that better.

“I – it’s the same for you. For me, I mean.”

They both lean in and bump noses awkwardly trying to kiss properly. It’s a hundred times warmer than the last one. Nicky curls a hand over his ribs, and Sasha feels something unfurl in his chest.

They bump noses again as they break apart, on purpose this time, and Nicky huffs a tiny laugh. Thank God. “You gonna sleep now, then?”

“If you shut up I might.”

“Wow. Wow, Nicky, I give you my – my undying love, and you –” Nicky pinches one of his nipples, and Sasha yelps. “So mean, Nicky.”

Nicky kisses the nipple. “Better?”

“You gonna sleep?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s better.”

**Author's Note:**

> \- so Nicky threw his stick and yelled “fuck” after game 4, and Bones asked for something hopeful when I said it made me want to write something so! this happened  
> \- say hi on [tumblr](https://itsahockeynight.tumblr.com) if you like!


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